LOLOL, you just can’t.

So, with this misleading title, I will instead write a list of all the ways the heat has affected my life:

I cut the sleeves off of four t shirts to make way for the inevitable muscle tee domination. My armpits need to sweat freely! Plus it makes me look like a BAMF

My apartment lacks AC so I literally sleep with no blankets. Sometimes I hug my body pillow just so my warm limbs won’t touch each other. Ew.

I do not go outside between the hours of 10am and 5:30pm, which are not only the hours I work at my new internship but the hours the sun is the strongest! win

Sometimes I go into stores just for the AC. Personal favorite: Barnes and Noble

Just like at camp, I take evening dips, except in real life this just means I stick my head in a cold shower for 2 seconds.

I walk slower. Less effort is exerted and thus less sweat comes out.. or so I pray.

I immediately take off my shirt upon entering my apartment at the end of the day. This sounds really cool and seductive but I’m always alone and my windows are seen by few.

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The real lesson to learn here is that mother nature will always beat you. As Alice told me, you just have to accept the heat. For my next post you can find me in between a sidewalk crack, as I will have already melted via accepting the heat. See y’all in heaven.