Have you read Ryan O’Connell’s article he published three days ago titled 5 Telltale Signs That Someone Is Rich? 

If yes, skip this next blurb

If no, I’ll sum it up for you: they intern, they live in NYC, they don’t cook, they go out a lot, they have nice things. Now that you know Ryan’s quick take, you should go read the article anyway because Ryan is HI-larious. I’m constantly on the look out for him in the East Village (our shared neighborhood!1!!) but have yet to spot him. I think he can read minds (read: my mind).

Almost everyone in the city is all “boohoo I’m living la vida poor, times are tight!” but some people are actually rich on the DL. Thinking specifically about NYC, here are some addendums from personal experience:

They have a dog
Feeding an animal costs money, vets cost money, dog walkers cost money (walking it yourself takes time, time =  money), buying the damn thing (jk, I luv animalz) costs money! You know when they are REALLY rich? When the dog is massive. NYC apartments do not fit animals, let alone us very well, so you know their humble abode ain’t so humble.

They take cabs
Cabs are deceptively expensive, going just 20 blocks can cost you $8. Sounds like nothing at first but, that’s a burrito bowl from chipotle, that’s a week of morning coffee, that’s a 1/1,000,000 (slight exaggeration?) of your rent! Even worse: personal drivers- but that’s never on the DL so GTFO.

Their apartment is windowlicious
A good view will cost you a pretty penny over here and all the apartments I’ve walked into and had my jaw drop had AWESOME windows. I’m talking floor to ceiling, crystal clear shit. Even if it’s in a “scary/cheap/dangerous/lame” neighborhood, WINDOWS ARE YOUR SIGN.

They exercise, and they exercise somewhere indoors
NYC work schedules are kindof cray-z, so if you even have time to work out, you’re already rich (I’ll say it again: time is money, y’all). If you have time to work out at David Barton Gym, Equinox, SoulCycle, Bikram yoga etc. etc. then your sweat is made of gold. Don’t question me.

They are raising kids in Manhattan
Kids are notoriously expensive, but its x 10 in NYC. Babysitters and nannies here have it pretty good, it’s well paid and I’ve heard stories of friends who are nannies who get to come along to the family’s 2 week vacation to Awesomeland. Not only that but tons of kids go to private $chool$ from the get-go (sorry NYC PS system). Can you imagine that? Paying tuition for school before you go to college? I’m totally biased here because I went to public school, and luckily it was an awesome public school at that. Oh and then as a parent you then have to fund your child’s NYC complex, that’s expensive too. I don’t know why I know (or think I know) so much on this matter, I’m 21 and nowhere near birthing or raising kids (you’re welcome, Dad).

And there you have it. But as a general rule of thumb, everyone in NYC is rich.

One that didn’t make the list: They are skinny because they are either rich enough to juice cleanse every week ($10/meal aka bottle, now that’s just stupid) or they’re poor enough to not afford food. OR they’re neither and just have awesome discipline. DOUBLE OR they think they have a gluten allergy like the rest of America - no disrepect to the real glutards out there, but you can’t deny this is a major diet fad. Shake my head.