This is happening.

image via google, I would never document late night shame food, nu uh.

Late night pizza has become a bit of a (bad) habit, but luckily you get to prosper from my gluttony via this post! And this will be cleaner, no napkins needed. Oh and it’s free. You’re really winning the lottery with this post… sort of.

Pizza places in New York is as common as nail salons, delis, coffee places, and questionable massage parlors. Except pizza one-ups everyone because they’re open so late and smell so good. 

Without further adieu, places I’ve tried from best to worst:

Stromboli on St. Marks and 1st
THE BEST. J Cole (my roommate) and I are obsessed with this place. The slices are big, the variety is great. My only gripe is the price— ~$4 for a good slice, a little over $3 for plain cheese. However I may not be in the best position to complain- I once let my debit card there and picked it up the next day with no problems. We also recommend the garlic knots ($2). Once J Cole and I were eating pizza in my bed and I made/J Cole willingly left our apartment again to get more garlic knots, that’s how good. I only order from the outside window and have met some wack ass characters there- one dude was like oh come to “my” bar, it’s just around the corner. No thank you, date rape. ANYWAY, great pizza <3

Solo on 3rd and B
This was Alice’s old go-to place when she still lived close by. We typically got veggie slices which are square with a pretty puffy crust, very limited grease. They have a big variety too and sell bottled beer, just as an FYI.

Artichoke on 14th
Artichoke is likely the most hyped and famous pizza place in the East Village. I tried to go once at 2am on a Saturday and there was a line of 30 people outside and I was like “hell to the no” and went home. But I finally had it (Thursday night around midnight, much less crowded) and was surprised. They’re famous for (duh?) their artichoke slice, described as: Artichoke Hearts, Spinach, Cream Sauce, Mozzarella and Pecorino Romano Cheese. Yeah, I could definitely taste the cream sauce. The slice I got was so rich I had to save half of it for breakfast, the thought coursing through my head as I ate it was “this tastes like cream of mushroom soup on a pizza”… take that as you will. However an added bonus for all you crazy night owls: they are open until 5am.

Two Brothers on St. Marks
The infamous dollar pizza place. If you haven’t been on St. Mark’s, you just need to know that it is a SCENE- especially between 2nd and 3rd ave, eek. I went here once after dollar beers around the corner at 13th Step so it was only fitting to end the night with dollar pizza. To my wallet: you are welcome. Pizza was good for being so cheap and hit the spot.

Nino’s on St. Marks and A
 Went here last night and was like “wow, I really just need to write that blogpost about pizza”. Like Stromboli you can order from a window outside on the street, which makes me feel like I’m less committed to being fat and just instead a casual hungry passerby … delusional. Anyway, the pizza was decent but they didn’t give me a take-out box and I feared someone may snatch the piece off my plate as I walked.

FDR on 2nd and A
A dollah makes me hollah! Totally a lie, it does not. However, it will buy you a slice of cheese from here, toppings are another 25 cents or more. Went here once night after someone literally caressed my dimple outside some bar (ew?). Not too greasy and pretty fast service. It looks totally janky from the outside, but the best finds in New York are typically like that.

East Village Pizza on 9th and A
No bueno, no no no. I vaguely remember getting this on the night of my 21st and was sorely disappointed. It was expensive and the veggie slice just didn’t make the cut.Will not be returning here again, although they did paint a cool new pizza mural outside on their wall. Murals are the key to my heart, y’all.

Soon to be added to the list: Two Boots