It’s hot. It’s very hot. My iPhone tells me it will reach 100 degrees today. Not cool. LITERALLY. omg L to the OL I really crack myself up sometimes.

Now, I don’t have air conditioning in my apartment. This absence of cool relief has had me thinking a lot about how people survive this shit. Last night I resorted to taking refuge in my local coffee shop, and going to sleep with wet hair. Luckily, StyleCaster is very very air conditioned but, not everyone is so lucky (or maybe they are). So I bring you… the best and worst jobs for a heat wave according to myself.

Best

Gallon of milk
You live in a fridge. Done deal.

Any job in corporate America
Corporations make mad $$$$. $$$$ buys lots of perks, and air conditioning goes without question. Plus if someone is going to make you wear a suit to work, they better pay to ventilate that ish out.

A Fish, tank or ocean
You live in water. You have no reason to brave the sun. Plus, you don’t have to wear clothes. Ugh, to be a fish…

Camp Counselor
This one may be debatable but as my memory serves, when it was hot as Hades at camp, we let the kids pretty much swim and dip into the lake all day whenever they wanted. Everything just revolved around the lake! Heaven. Bonus: no one cares what you look like, so when I walked around in a bathing suit most of the day, it was all good. 

A Child
Remember before you hit puberty and sweating was a foreign concept? I want to be back at that stage again. Also acceptable only in childhood: running through public fountains. As an adult that is only acceptable if you are out of your mind wasted, and even then, it’s not cute. 

Worst

Delivery person (UPS, messenger, bitch intern)
Not only are you constantly in a uniform (oy vey), but you are constantly moving and changing temperature environments.

Falafel truck worker
Falafel, although delicious, takes heat to make. Add in a tiny vehicle that doubles as a kitchen and…. well, I hope you like your falafel extra salty. Yeah, I went there.

A/C store employee
aaaaaand cue everyone in America running to their local hardware/ air conditioning store to haul out something to prevent their heat stroke. Good luck dealing with that headache. 

Doorman
This is a job I just think looks like it kinda sucks in general. You stand in one spot all day in a fancy (and warm) uniform and open the door for (assumingly) snooty people. Awesome. Cool. Gr8.

Anyone in Chinatown
Chinatown stanks. It’s a fact just as 1+1 = 2 is. It is THE STANKIEST place in New York I have had the displeasure to stumble upon. I can’t even imagine what the heat is doing to it. Luckily I’ve mostly confined myself with 40th and 7th streets, eliminating the need to go down there.

And there you have it.
Give me air conditioning or give me death (via heat stroke).