Sometimes you can just tell that someone just isn’t meant for you in any capacity- romantically, friendshiply, emotionally, visually etc. Here are my three semi serious deal breakers… actually, they more so just make me cringe with a, “really? you are really like this?” because I unfortunately have some friends with one or more of these qualities. 

They don’t eat ethnic food
And instead they want to eat americanized italian?? or americanized chinese?? or just stupid mac ‘n cheese?? or chicken caesar salads?? I’m sorry, you can see how angry this makes me. There is LITERALLY a WHOLE WORLD OF FOOD out there that they refuse to try out of fear and what I assume (hope?) is undiscovered self-loathing. You know what is delicious? Pad Thai. Tikka Masala. Falafel. Bubble Tea. Bratwurst. How can we get food together if you always suggest something wack like Panera?! No disrepect to Panera, I really love them, but I at least know there’s something else out there. Whatever, more for me.

On Facebook, they have over 1,500 or under 400 friends
Facebook is a delicate balance, you don’t want to hand stalkers the perfect road map to you but you also don’t want to look like a weird social recluse. If you have too few friends, I will assume you: don’t “do” the internet, actually don’t have friends, had an emotional breakdown one day and unfriended 90% of your current “friends”, and/or think it’s 2005 again and just signed up for Facebook. If you have way too many friends, I will assume you: are a (social) whore like a club promoter or a girl who loves getting “omg ur so gorgeousss” comments on her profile pictures, have no social boundaries and friend people that you don’t know, and/or are in some kind of weird friend competition either implicitly or explicitly. 

They can’t laugh at themselves
C’mon guys, we are a bit of generation who can’t comfortabley take a compliment. Everyone has a little bit of self-deprecation in them that upholds and promotes the ability to laugh at yourself. Life is too short to take yourself seriously! You know where I heard that? On a track on Geri Halliwell’s (aka Ginger Spice) debut solo album from 1998! Which I own! And you know why I’m not ashamed to write that? Because I can laugh at myself! LOL, y’all. L-O effing L.